Back at it...

Needless to say, the Christmas break was a bit rough on me health-wise. I think I caught a cold from one of my favourite humans. Not his fault—he’s two and likes to snuggle and sneeze all over his auntie. I can’t resist his cheeks or his charm.

After a few days in my tracksuit, I thought I would make it out to spend some time with friends on New Year’s Eve, but the cold had moved into my sinuses, so I made the smart choice to stay in. It was my first NYE on my own as a single person in a very long time, which gave me a bit of FOMO. The possibility of being at midnight, and what that might mean (have I mentioned I'm an over-thinker)? It was a bit of a conundrum—I didn’t really feel like going anywhere, but I also wasn’t sure I wanted to be alone.

It turned out to be exactly what this girl needed. My son had a buddy over, and we ordered Umbrella Burger. Now, if you have not had the culinary experience of these burgers, I suggest you clear your schedule and head over there. I’m a vegetarian, and their veggie burger is the best. Pair it with sweet potato fries and a Dr. Pepper, and you will be in heaven. I love a little extra burger sauce with all the fixings, which usually means I feel like I need a shower afterward. The size is also a bit of an issue—I never finish it, which means leftovers for the next day. Anyway, I digress…

The highlight of the evening was calling my Vancouver bestie. She moved out there just over a year ago and is living her best life. We chatted and were silly for about two hours, which was perfect. It’s amazing to have that friend where, no matter what the conversation entails, you both hang up smiling with your cheeks sore. After a bad French movie, I managed to stay up until midnight. I texted my two kids who were out at parties and hugged my eldest who was home. Then I opened the front and back doors of the house to let out the bad and let in the good.

The morning felt just like any other day—except lighter. Spending NYE on my own wasn’t necessarily how I imagined it. The phrase “you don’t always get what you want; you get what you need” kept running through my head. I was happy! My head was still reeling with sinus pain, and the cold had moved into my ears, bringing unsettling bouts of vertigo, but at least I wasn't hung over. Waking up feeling this way confirmed that I shouldn’t have gone out, and knowing the night I did have was great helped me feel like I made the right choice.

The next step was heading back to the gym—my last workout was Christmas Eve. Listening to my body, I thought I would ease in with a Pilates class and maybe a treadmill climb afterward. I got into the fitness room and the sun was streaming through the windows over the trees and it was beautiful! Now for the work out - it appears the vertigo hasn’t quite settled. Every time I shifted from back to front, I thought I was going to fall off my mat or throw up. During planking, my muscles were shaking so hard that at one point I collapsed. So I did what I should have done all along: I listened to my body. I lay back on my mat, enjoyed the sunshine and waited for the dizziness to improve, moved slowly during transitions, and modified exercises when needed. As for the post-Pilates stair climb, I skipped it and opted to buy some really healthy groceries instead.

To sum it all up, I’m getting back at it—just more slowly than I expected. I know deeply that nothing is permanent, and that within impermanence, growth and change thrive. Over the last year, I’ve been learning that it’s okay to say no, and that missing out isn’t necessarily a bad thing. The silver lining isn’t always upfront or obvious, but it’s there.

Does this change anything for me? Most likely not. What it does do is reaffirm that I need to keep listening, keep paying attention to how my body feels, and do what’s best for me. When it comes to going out and having fun, I’ll be there when it feels right. As for my health and workouts, I know getting back to 110% will take some time—but with patience, will, and determination, I’ll get there.