Handy dandy...

I moved into my townhouse in 2018 after my first marriage ended. I wanted something small, cozy, close to my kids’ school, and firmly in my neighborhood. Condo living had never crossed my mind, but the idea of never mowing a lawn or shoveling snow was suddenly very appealing—especially as a single parent with limited time.

What I didn’t expect was that I’d get more than just an easy-maintenance home. I got something that was entirely mine. I hadn’t realized how much I missed that. I’d lived alone before marriage and loved it, and I’ll say this to any young adult who might be reading: if you can, live alone at least once. Not with roommates. Not in your parents’ basement. Truly alone. You learn a lot!

While I’m rarely actually alone—my kids and their friends treat my house like a community center—I’ve grown to cherish the quiet moments. At first, they were hard. When the kids went out, I wasn’t sure who I was without my usual roles (chauffeur, chef, admin assistant, etc). Eventually, I figured it out: sometimes I dance in the kitchen with loud music, sometimes I read on the couch, and sometimes I reorganize and purge like it’s an Olympic sport. Turns out, I really enjoy my own company.

One of the biggest lessons lately has been realizing how capable I am. I own a drill, and I’m not afraid to use it. My townhouse hadn’t been updated in decades—a 1960s powder room, an ’80s kitchen, wood paneling, and a full-on tiki bar in the basement. I’d assumed the house was temporary as I had married for the second time, which, in hindsight, lasted about as long as a trip to the circus and felt similar.

After that ended, I decided it was time to make this place truly mine. With a tight budget and three kids to support, that meant doing most of the work myself—with occasional help from my dad and friends (and professionals when I knew better).

I started with the dining room, adding built-ins and shelves. Huge confidence boost. Then came the bathroom, where YouTube tutorials led me to rent a jackhammer from Home Depot—an experience I never saw coming. Did you know they will rent power tools without asking if you know how to use them? I removed the vanity and toilet myself (yes, that job was exactly what you’re thinking), and it was both exhausting and wildly empowering.

It’s not just that the rooms look better—it’s that I did the work. I asked for help when I needed it, figured things out when I could, and saved money along the way. Pride and practicality: a solid combo.

So go ahead—turn on YouTube, rent a power tool, and see what you’re capable of!

Next up: the kitchen. If anyone knows how to install one, or wants to help, let me know. My mom won’t loan me my dad anymore.