What did I miss?

40 days and 40 nights. That's how long I gave up social media — specifically Facebook and Instagram. Very biblical of me, I know. No burning bush appeared, but I did discover I had feelings.

The first couple of weeks, I felt anxious and unsettled. Not quite FOMO, but more like I'd lost something and couldn't find it anywhere. You know that panic when you put your keys in the same spot every single day, and then one day they just... aren't there? You check your room, the living room, maybe even the bathroom — and before you know it, they turn up in the fridge. The fridge. It felt a bit like that, except I wasn't looking for anything. My brain just hadn't gotten the memo.

At first, I thought I'd really miss it — and I did. Especially when the deeply ingrained habit of picking up my phone for a seemingly endless doom scroll left me staring at a blank screen like my kids during a long power outage who'd just discovered no more bars. No memories from years past. No updates on where my friends were vacationing or what chaos they were getting up to. No cute dog photos, no menopausal middle solidarity posts, no hiking trips to consider, and absolutely no fitness experts showing me the newest movement that might just be a game changer. (It's never a game changer. It's a lunge.)

But here's the flip side: I was also no longer seeing things I never asked to consume. I've heard quite enough about the many disasters happening around the world — that's what the news is for, and frankly, it's doing plenty. Gone too were the endless posts and videos about getting over "your narcissistic ex." I've had more than enough of that lived experience, thank you very much, and I've already wasted more breath on that topic than I care to admit. Hard pass on the rerun.

I also wondered if ditching social media would save me money. I have succumbed to many an online ad. If you're a local Ottawa-based business and you show up on my Instagram feed, I am gone — a full goner, no hope of return. And don't even get me started on ultralight camping gear. If it exists, it's probably already in my pack.

Honestly? It didn't save me a ton of money. But the purchases I did make over those 40 days were conscious and deliberate — things I'd already been saving for, or genuinely needed for work or the house. Case in point: I'd been researching a new family sofa for about a year. Some of the brands I was considering had shown up in my feed before, sure — but actually pulling the trigger meant digging deeper to find real Canadian companies and a sofa the whole family would like. It was decidedly not a simple click-click situation. (Bait-and-switch, anyone?)

What I gained, though? Far better than anything I thought I'd lost.

I exercised more. Instead of doom-scrolling while a show played in the background like ambient wallpaper for my disengaged brain, I actually watched the show. Revolutionary concept, truly. And when I needed to multitask, I hopped on the walking pad like a productive little hamster and did both.

My intellect quietly threw a party. I read two extra books — and I had already challenged myself to read at least one "for fun" book a month this year. I'm currently on book five. Five. I also finally finished an online work course I'd been slogging through for what felt like several geological eras, and then immediately started another one, because apparently I am a lifelong learner with a slight overachievement problem and absolutely zero regrets about it.

My fitness took a genuine leap forward too. I spent less time scrolling between sets and actually took proper rest breaks. I listened to music and podcasts during cardio instead of watching reels while climbing upward on a treadmill or Jacob's Ladder like some kind of sweaty content-consuming machine. Before classes, I sat quietly on my mat and cleared my head instead of filling it with nonsense. I even had time to meditate in the mornings — apparently I was arriving at my day 15 to 20 minutes earlier than usual. Who knew stillness was hiding in my screen time?

I spent more quality time with my children actually talking or doing something together.  There was also a few extra receipts from local coffee shops that tell me I was out with friends more than I have been in a long time.  Not fully crediting a social media hiatus for this but it helps when you don’t already know what’s happening in everyone’s lives. 

Oh — and my sleep improved. Just casually throwing that in. Huge bonus.

So does all of this mean I'm giving up social media for good? Probably not. I missed a message from my niece that I would have loved to see sooner. I genuinely love seeing my friends, their kids, and all their wins. And as much as I complain about it, I absolutely love seeing the newest gear for camping, sailing, and paddling. I contain multitudes.

But here's what I am promising myself: I will be firm with my limits. No doom-scrolling in bed before I've even made it to the shower. No picking up my phone between patients — and instead, actually keeping up with my charting (the bane of my existence, capitalized in my heart if not on the page). If I need to be moving while watching something, I'll knit or do something hands-on. And I'll keep going to bed earlier so I can read before falling asleep — which, combined with the improved sleep, means I'm actually becoming the most annoyingly healthy version of myself.

You're welcome, and I'm not at all sorry.